Nervous Butterflies
I have some nerves this afternoon! Don't know why other than I'm about to embark upon a very important journey tomorrow and I know it's getting closer and I'm naturally feeling that tingle of nervousness and excitement all at the same time. Could also be knowing that I need to pack and haven't started! :0)
Or, part of the nerves could be that I had to order one more cartridge of one of the meds I'm taking and it will be here tomorrow sometime between 9 and 2. I wish it could just come at a set time in the morning, but that's not exactly how Fed Ex works. Maybe I should have ordered it sooner, but I didn't know how much to do until after my ultrasound today. I hope that's all the meds I'll need to order, but it might not be. I will have to find out next week on Monday when I have an appt. with our doc in CA. I will finally get to meet him and his staff in person, which will be nice! It's weird doing all of this over the phone and e-mail, but hey...that's the modern world! At least if I need more meds I'll be right there by their pharmacy. I only wish they weren't so pricey! This whole process is a lot more money that you realize sometimes because all of these "unforeseen" costs add up. I swear if I ever win the lottery I will start a foundation that helps people like us. There might be one out there...I don't really know. I remember looking one time, but not in great detail. Money (or lack thereof) is just really annoying sometimes I guess. It's like double the price for a Fed Ex Saturday delivery, but I don't really have a choice, so I guess I'll get over it!
The ultrasound this morning was good. I'll have another one in LA. I think I've lost count of how many that will be. Four maybe? I'm a total pro at it now. I'm not sure how the blood work turned out this morning, but I'm sure it will be fine. I didn't get the same woman that has always done my blood, and they guy that did it was definitely not as good. I have a bruise today, which I've never had. I also have some bruising a little on my stomach from the shots, but I'm very proud to say that I gave myself all three shots on my own last night. Well, Greg was standing by to walk me through it. It definitely took much longer because I wanted to make sure I was doing it all correctly. Tonight I should be even better at it! I give a huge thanks to my brother-in-law, Shaun, who works for BD. They make THE BEST needles. Weird to say, I know. But the micro fine BD needles that I'm using for the Follistim pen are so tiny and sharp and good. It's fun to think of Ems and Shaun when I see needles! (Ha! Ha!)
So far I still feel happy and good about life, which I shall attribute to one of my spiritual gifts, which is the ability to have a positive outlook. I know it's not that way for some people, so I feel very blessed. And, I haven't always been the most empathetic because I can naturally just think positively and don't always understand what others are going through. So, I am sorry for times when I've seemed insincere and am trying to be better at thinking of how others feel. Shall we call it charity? Sure. We could all use a little more charitable feelings toward others I guess. So if that's something that I'm learning from this, then I'll take it!
Here's an example of me trying to stay positive. Today I was doing a little laundry and my mind can't help but wander a little when I'm doing tasks like that. So, I was thinking the horrible thought that's always in the back of my mind, "What if this doesn't work?" And then I thought that I would be OK. I would still find pleasure and joy in everyday life including the smell of fresh laundry. My mother-in-law gave a good tip today. She said the best thing will be if I can just go in there with the best attitude and positivity thinking that it will all work just great! I am trying to do that, and feel like I have been able to for the most part, but I also don't want to get my hopes too high. Know what I mean? Too bad things like this aren't guaranteed. But then, that's Satan's plan, remember? So if I can keep it in a proper perspective and truly trust in the Lord, I know I'll be fine.
Did I already post this scripture? If so, sorry for the repeat, but it has been a great comfort.
Deut. 31:6 (very similar to this year's YW/YM theme)
Be strong and of a good courage. Do not fear, nor be afraid of them. For the Lord thy God, He it is that doth go with thee. He will not fail thee nor forsake thee.
That is true. I know it.
So, off we go (meaning me and my wonderful mom) tomorrow with positive thoughts, prayers, faith and love buoying us up! Greg is coming to LA a few days after us, and I know he's a bit nervous about flying (so I guess he has butterflies, too!) so if you want to wish him well I'm sure he'd appreciate it. This is his journey as much as it is mine, and I know we both appreciate everyone's support.
We'll keep you posted! (ha ha!)
Or, part of the nerves could be that I had to order one more cartridge of one of the meds I'm taking and it will be here tomorrow sometime between 9 and 2. I wish it could just come at a set time in the morning, but that's not exactly how Fed Ex works. Maybe I should have ordered it sooner, but I didn't know how much to do until after my ultrasound today. I hope that's all the meds I'll need to order, but it might not be. I will have to find out next week on Monday when I have an appt. with our doc in CA. I will finally get to meet him and his staff in person, which will be nice! It's weird doing all of this over the phone and e-mail, but hey...that's the modern world! At least if I need more meds I'll be right there by their pharmacy. I only wish they weren't so pricey! This whole process is a lot more money that you realize sometimes because all of these "unforeseen" costs add up. I swear if I ever win the lottery I will start a foundation that helps people like us. There might be one out there...I don't really know. I remember looking one time, but not in great detail. Money (or lack thereof) is just really annoying sometimes I guess. It's like double the price for a Fed Ex Saturday delivery, but I don't really have a choice, so I guess I'll get over it!
The ultrasound this morning was good. I'll have another one in LA. I think I've lost count of how many that will be. Four maybe? I'm a total pro at it now. I'm not sure how the blood work turned out this morning, but I'm sure it will be fine. I didn't get the same woman that has always done my blood, and they guy that did it was definitely not as good. I have a bruise today, which I've never had. I also have some bruising a little on my stomach from the shots, but I'm very proud to say that I gave myself all three shots on my own last night. Well, Greg was standing by to walk me through it. It definitely took much longer because I wanted to make sure I was doing it all correctly. Tonight I should be even better at it! I give a huge thanks to my brother-in-law, Shaun, who works for BD. They make THE BEST needles. Weird to say, I know. But the micro fine BD needles that I'm using for the Follistim pen are so tiny and sharp and good. It's fun to think of Ems and Shaun when I see needles! (Ha! Ha!)
So far I still feel happy and good about life, which I shall attribute to one of my spiritual gifts, which is the ability to have a positive outlook. I know it's not that way for some people, so I feel very blessed. And, I haven't always been the most empathetic because I can naturally just think positively and don't always understand what others are going through. So, I am sorry for times when I've seemed insincere and am trying to be better at thinking of how others feel. Shall we call it charity? Sure. We could all use a little more charitable feelings toward others I guess. So if that's something that I'm learning from this, then I'll take it!
Here's an example of me trying to stay positive. Today I was doing a little laundry and my mind can't help but wander a little when I'm doing tasks like that. So, I was thinking the horrible thought that's always in the back of my mind, "What if this doesn't work?" And then I thought that I would be OK. I would still find pleasure and joy in everyday life including the smell of fresh laundry. My mother-in-law gave a good tip today. She said the best thing will be if I can just go in there with the best attitude and positivity thinking that it will all work just great! I am trying to do that, and feel like I have been able to for the most part, but I also don't want to get my hopes too high. Know what I mean? Too bad things like this aren't guaranteed. But then, that's Satan's plan, remember? So if I can keep it in a proper perspective and truly trust in the Lord, I know I'll be fine.
Did I already post this scripture? If so, sorry for the repeat, but it has been a great comfort.
Deut. 31:6 (very similar to this year's YW/YM theme)
Be strong and of a good courage. Do not fear, nor be afraid of them. For the Lord thy God, He it is that doth go with thee. He will not fail thee nor forsake thee.
That is true. I know it.
So, off we go (meaning me and my wonderful mom) tomorrow with positive thoughts, prayers, faith and love buoying us up! Greg is coming to LA a few days after us, and I know he's a bit nervous about flying (so I guess he has butterflies, too!) so if you want to wish him well I'm sure he'd appreciate it. This is his journey as much as it is mine, and I know we both appreciate everyone's support.
We'll keep you posted! (ha ha!)
I'm Glad I could wish you well today. It was good to visit on the phone. I love that scripture you posted. One of my favorites is in Either chapter 12 the one about stepping into the dark and then seeing the light. Sometimes it is so hard to have blind faith! We pray for you always!
ReplyDeleteI don't like flying either Greg! I have to just not think about it and try and read a book or magazine to get my mind off it. I find that snacks are always a good distracter. I like to take candy I haven't tried before like tropical scittles an almond snicker bar, etc.
We wish you all the best!
Hi Lisa! I'm finally updating my blog because I finally learned how to use the new camera! I saw your posts and am glad to get an update on you! I'm praying for you. You are a great example to all of courage and perseverance! Love -stace.
ReplyDeleteI have butterflies too...sympathy butterflies. For you and Greg! :) I love your positive nature though! Your spiritual gift was a literal gift to me during our teenage years! I needed someone like you to counter my negativity. :) And you're right...it will all work out. We're thinking about you and praying for you continuously.
ReplyDeleteWow Lisa! I'm just catching up on all my blog reading. I had no idea that you were going through all of this. It really does sound like quite the process. You seem to have a very good attitude about it all. I hope you are feeling alright and that everything is going well. Please know that we will be thinking of you and Greg.
ReplyDelete